Pansexuality

Lately many of my friends have started to say they are bisexual but is that truly what they are? I have been captivated at the thought of what sexuality really means. Sexuality is an organisms preparedness for engaging in sexual activity. The definition of sexuality still doesn't truly fulfill the vastness that a humans sexuality may span. Through these thoughts I finally came to understand the differences are between bisexuality and pansexuality.

I understood these differences after reading an article about how gay marriage challenges gender roles. Gay marriage puts gender and gender role on the back burner because it doesn't matter, this is how it should be in every marriage. These beliefs can't happen because of the belief that men are better then women, this makes beliefs that gender roles don't matter very frowned upon in our society. These "norms" that are society has created had been challenged before by the feminist movement and even more now since women have a more equal opportunities. Women are equal and should never be secondary to men; if this is so then why is it necessary for a women to stay at home when the man can do it just as well.

Understanding that gender role and gender and sexuality are all separate helps rearrange what people see as family and what a relationship might be and become. With gender role thrown out the window there is a better understanding about how a gay marriage, like single parent families, can raise perfectly normal children without haven't both genders present.

Pansexuality, on the other hand, allows for the belief that attraction isn't just limited to looks that can change, but that there is a deeper meaning to attraction than what our fellow animal comrades act upon. People no matter heterosexual nor homosexual both have specific looks or things they look for in that sex they are attracted to, but pansexuality totally blows it out of the water. Even bisexuality has specific looks they look for in men and specific looks they look for in women. Pansexuality is unlike any of these sexuality's; they look into the persons personality and what they're interested in. The picture to the right is basically how I understand pansexuality of be like.

Disclaimer:
I am not at all saying that every human is as narrow-minded as I make it sound. Every person is different and with that, it includes who they happen to be attracted to. Sexuality "is not something you take - it's given" or you just got what you were suppose to get.

"What's love got to do with it?" everything. Life without love could mean that no relationship could ever exist. Love knows no boundaries and believing and acting upon those feelings will make you a better person in the end.

New to the Gay Community: The Unspoken Responsibility

As a member of a minority group we have to stick up together to get through everything. Minorities unite in the time of activism but then the connection is lost again until they have to unite to fight for the same cause. Like the saying "the enemy of my enemy is my friend," but these connects shouldn't break down; "two heads are better than one," so why can't that apply here?

On March 24 and 25 the U.S. Supreme Court will act upon the D.O.M.A. (aka defense on marriage act), and Prop. 8 (aka propitiation 8). Most people don't know what these things represent or that they even ecicited. It was surprising to me that so many LGBT teens didn't know or even sorta understand what these things mean.

Suicide

Teen suicide is a topic really close to my heart, not only because it deals with the death of a young person, but because these thoughts should never be in the head of this teens in the first place.

My Story

Even me, a happy out going person has had thoughts of suicide at one point of my life, then again 1 out of 23 teens want to commit suicide, so I'm not that out in left field. I made it through these thoughts thanks to my friends that reminded me that I wasn't just loved, but that I could better the world so no one would feel like this (actually I just added that last part because that's how I see it now).

As Seen in Movies

Prayers for Bobby is the movie that will make you cry five times, but yet you still want to watch it again. It deals with the suicide and how this one simple action caused his mother to change not only her families views on homosexuality, but also her community's.

The Silent Truth is a short film that deals with a kid attempting suicide because of the way his mom first reacted to her son being gay. This short films ends with a happy ending, but it really made me think why our society doesn't yet accept love to be love. Is it because they are scared of change? or the fact that they don't want people to be happy?

Who to Blame?

Honestly, I never thought about who to blame for these thoughts, but if you start to think about it there is no one to blame but yourself. We can't blame everything on our parents nor the society; we have to accept the blame for our actions and thoughts. Why blame our self and how to change our thoughts:

1) We allow people to bother us. Stop worrying about what others think and live your life.

2) You aren't as alone as you feel. There are many organizations that can help you get through this part of your life like the Trevor Project.

3) Your life isn't over, no matter what is happening right then and there. Sure the thing that is happening could feel like the end of the world, I know for me it felt like that, but I promise your life has more to offer than those bad moments.

Remember to smile, be happy, be free, and live your life.

New to the Gay World: How To Start?

Once you are openly out as a queer, you might feel lonely and isolated, like you are on an island. I promise you, you are not alone you just have to leave your normal life and enter the new world. This new world is a new wonder land that you never knew existed, but you got to go out and explore.

How to Start?
1) YouTube

http://www.worldphoto.org/community/social/

The Internet has not only brought the world closer, it has also united a very distant community. There are several openly gay vloggers on YouTube from gay to trans to drag queen. Most vloggers on Youtube will help you, or at least try to, with any problems or questions you might have about being queer and this new world. Most queer vloggeres are funny and shine a different view into the gay community as it is today and how to bring support and make a difference for others.

2)Gay Movies/Short Films
With the world becoming more accepting of the LGBTQ community, LGBTQ movies have been made and are now widely known. In my opinion, here are some of the greatest gay movies include Prayers for Bobby, Shelter, and Shank. Some lesbian movies include I Can't Think Straight, The Gymnast, and Loving Annabelle. There are also many short gay films that can be found throughout YouTube. Some great short films include The Boy Next Door, Running Without Sound, and Who We Are.

3)Gay Chats
The internet has not only brought about YouTube, but also chat rooms to connect to people all over the world. Like with anything on line there are weirdos and creepier, so if you do use any chat rooms be careful and never meet up with anyone you met online. On the other hand these chats are a great way to connect to people you might not met in your every day life. A chat room for youth I will recommend is TrevorSpace. This chat is run by the Trevor Project and is a way for LGBTQ youth to connect with people and help them feel connected and not alone.

4)Gay Books
I know this is the 21st century and everything is faster and better. This modern age has brought about very lazy people, bu books still unite people, like Harry Potter. Gay novels are a great way not just to work your brain and your imagination, but also to hear how different gay people live. Robin Reardon in  my opinion is the best gay novelist in the universe  she wrote books like Thinking Straight,  Awake, The Evolution of Ethan Pope and others too. All her books are great and show a different again on the gay community.

5)GSA
Most people do not even know what GSA stands for, and no it isn't girl scouts of america, it stands for Gay Straight Alliance. This club is great for connecting to LGBTQ people in the community/school. The purpose of GSA is to bring activism in our community and awareness to the community about the LGBTQ community. This is not only a way for LGBTQ people to learn about the LGBTQ community but also to bring people together for a common fight.

So start getting involved.

*I in no way guaranteeing that these people will help you, or even respond to a question you ask them. I also understand that not all gay chats work for people, so I'm sorry ahead of time if it doesn't work out with you.

Where Does It Come From?: Absent Father

Where did all this homosexuality start? A majority of homosexuals just don't care. I for one, do care and these are some theories I have seen.

The Absent Father Theory

Most homosexual men have heard the mother tell the father to spend more time with you to make you more like a man. The mother is right according to this theory. A father is a model for the boy to follow and that's how boys get their manly traits. The boy can't get them from an older brother nor an uncle because the father is the one the boy needs to model. The boy will be left with a void. The void will always be there so the boy will in return want another man to fill that void he has.

http://autism-daddy.blogspot.com/2012/01/letter-to-dads-that-left-because-of.html

I'm sorry but this theory is WRONG!!!!! It might have had a strong correlation, but it doesn't cause homosexuality in men. Another part that makes it wrong, is that if the void was a bag and the father was an apple, where does the apple come to fill the void both the boys feel?

This theory does have a correlation, but that doesn't mean it correlates to every case. In some families the son does have a strong connection with the father, but yet the boy still turns out to be homosexual. It also doesn't explain why a female's are homosexual.

Coming Out: Fears Before Coming Out

Coming out it not as easy a everyone makes you believe it is. Coming out isn't just coming out of the closet, it's also entering a world you never knew. I know a lot of personal stories about coming out and how it changed their lives for the better, but no one really likes to think about the negative effects about coming out.

Before Coming Out

When you're in the closet you feel all alone, like no one understands you but yourself. Depression may be a result of feeling so lonely, this happens to most teens, gay or straight. Being in this depressed form can cause teens to self harm. I'm not saying that all the people in depression commit self harm, I'm just saying there is a greater possibility.

Coming Out Fears

1) My parents will never accept me.
You are a teenager, you just need to wait to be 18 to move out, then you can be yourself. During this time you could just hold it in and not come out or you could come out, whatever you feel to be the best decision. In making this decision think about "will they kick me out?"

2) My parents will kick me out and never speak to me again.
I'm sorry, but grow up. I know being a teenager is supposed to be all fun in games, but you can never predict what's going to happen to you next. Being kicked out will be hard, actually it will be VERY HARD, but you just got to live with it. When or if this happens, stay with at a friends house until you can get job and are able to provide for yourself. Living without your parents is going to be hard, but it's better than, or so I think, your own parents calling you names and treating you like trash. The pain of your own parents saying they can never love you is hard to take on. Everyone reacts differently to this. I know people who become suicidal, I also know people who become stronger, and I also know people who are stubborn and want to show that their parents' mentality is wrong. Your parents may try to "change" you, which doesn't work, but it shows that they care.


3)Everyone will bully me.
Not everyone will like you, no matter gay or straight; it's just the way the cookie crumbles. Being bullied, believe it or not, makes you stronger. It also helps you mature and see how the real world is going to be. The real world isn't full of rainbows nor a candy land, it is hard and you have to deal with those things. The things you might have to face could include being pushed around, robbed, raped, held captive, or just killed, but these are extremes. To handle the big things, you need to start small to understand the bigger picture. A great example of this is when you are young and you swim in the shallow end of the pool, and you slowly work your way to swimming in the deep end.

4)Church/Faith will never approve.
For a faith to be true it must be based around the only feeling that we all understand and have felt: love. Love is the power that in many movies and television shows that conquers all no matter what. If your faith doesn't agree with love being the center of the faith, then dig deeper into the faith than just what you are thought a the religious building. The best way to find out what you truly believe is to question things. Act like a 5 year-old who questions everything they see, hear, smell, and touch.

5)I will have to act different.
This is a huge stereotype. "Oh, I'm gay now, so I have to act more gay." This is dumb, but people really believe this to be true because once you are out of the closet then "the gays act more gay." I do believe the "gays" act more "gay" because you have more liberty to act how you truly want to act. This makes this concept partially true. You don't act more gay, you act more like how you truly want to act. I'm not saying you are more gay than normal, I'm just saying that you are free to be yourself, for example holding your boyfriends hand.

In conclusion, coming out has many worries but the benefit big, but I will get to this later on. The key points of the benefits include being yourself, feeling free, expressing yourself, self searching, and just giving yourself the liberty to be yourself.

What LGBTQ Means?

What does LGBTQ mean? LGBTQ or LGBT has a meaning to each of the letters. Many people just know the main ones like, gay (G) and lesbian (L) but what about the B, T, and the Q? According to Texas Tech University, the LGBTQ the community in itself struggles to met one specific "group." Sexuality is a long and complicated study that doesn't have a root start, so everyone just needs to do what they believe is right for themselves. When you're in high school you just want to be the "popular kid," unless, you're like me and don't care.

Homosexuality is the most common type of sexuality, other than heterosexuality, in the world. Homosexuality shouldn't be a taboo, weird, or looked down upon because there are about 1,500 species of animals that practice homosexuality. Homosexuality is divided into two parts, which are known as  lesbian and gay. Lesbian means a girl liking another girl, in every way including "emotional, romantic, sexual, and affectional attraction to another women." G comes next which stands for gay. Being gay is when a man likes another man in every way, just like a lesbian.

http://www.aidspreventionlausd.net/lgbtq.html

Bisexuality, B, is different than just liking a man or just a woman because bisexuality involves both sexes. Many people, including myself, have confused bisexuality with pan-sexuality. "Pan-sexuality is when a person likes another person based on personality." Pan-sexuality, in other words, is having the guts to like someone openly based on personality alone. Being bisexual is what I personally believe to be the most common type of sexuality in the LGBTQ community. Bisexuality is the most commonly seen because most homosexuals "test the water" before they jump in. This "testing the water" means they come out as bi but later come out as another sexuality. I am not saying it is wrong to "test the water", but because of it, people who are bisexuals are called homosexual because most people believe this sexuality doesn't exist.

Finally, the T in LGBTQ is the most complex. Transgender is the most common type of trans. The T is also used to represent transsexual and transvestite. Transgender, transsexual, and transvestite are the 3 main types of trans. Transgender is when a man feels like a woman and a woman feels like a man. The feeling could be emotionally,  mentally, or physically, meaning they want change to the opposite sex. A transsexual is when a person actually changes their sexuality in a physical way to be that of the opposite sex of which they were born. A transvestite is also commonly known as a cross-dresser. A cross-dresser is a man or woman dressing as the opposite sex and acting like them, too. Cross-dressers could do this for a short time or do this on a daily bases. Another commonly known way to refer to a man dressing as a woman is a drag queen. A guy is a drag queen only when he over does the woman clothing, like huge hair, big butt, and bright colors in his make-up.

In conclusion, LGBTQ is the most common way to name the "gay" community. Some of you might have thought I missed a letter, and I did. The Q at the end of LGBTQ is often left out because it wasn't originally there. The Q referees to either questioning or queer. If you are questioning, that means that you are not sure what you are, which is normal for most people. You could also fit into more than just one category. Queer, in my book is like saying humans. Queer is uniting the divided community of LGBTQ. I know queer is also used as an insult, but gay has another meaning to it, too.

Where I got my idea about this blog post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl1ORdfACuw&feature=plcp