Coming Out: Fears Before Coming Out

Coming out it not as easy a everyone makes you believe it is. Coming out isn't just coming out of the closet, it's also entering a world you never knew. I know a lot of personal stories about coming out and how it changed their lives for the better, but no one really likes to think about the negative effects about coming out.

Before Coming Out

When you're in the closet you feel all alone, like no one understands you but yourself. Depression may be a result of feeling so lonely, this happens to most teens, gay or straight. Being in this depressed form can cause teens to self harm. I'm not saying that all the people in depression commit self harm, I'm just saying there is a greater possibility.

Coming Out Fears

1) My parents will never accept me.
You are a teenager, you just need to wait to be 18 to move out, then you can be yourself. During this time you could just hold it in and not come out or you could come out, whatever you feel to be the best decision. In making this decision think about "will they kick me out?"

2) My parents will kick me out and never speak to me again.
I'm sorry, but grow up. I know being a teenager is supposed to be all fun in games, but you can never predict what's going to happen to you next. Being kicked out will be hard, actually it will be VERY HARD, but you just got to live with it. When or if this happens, stay with at a friends house until you can get job and are able to provide for yourself. Living without your parents is going to be hard, but it's better than, or so I think, your own parents calling you names and treating you like trash. The pain of your own parents saying they can never love you is hard to take on. Everyone reacts differently to this. I know people who become suicidal, I also know people who become stronger, and I also know people who are stubborn and want to show that their parents' mentality is wrong. Your parents may try to "change" you, which doesn't work, but it shows that they care.


3)Everyone will bully me.
Not everyone will like you, no matter gay or straight; it's just the way the cookie crumbles. Being bullied, believe it or not, makes you stronger. It also helps you mature and see how the real world is going to be. The real world isn't full of rainbows nor a candy land, it is hard and you have to deal with those things. The things you might have to face could include being pushed around, robbed, raped, held captive, or just killed, but these are extremes. To handle the big things, you need to start small to understand the bigger picture. A great example of this is when you are young and you swim in the shallow end of the pool, and you slowly work your way to swimming in the deep end.

4)Church/Faith will never approve.
For a faith to be true it must be based around the only feeling that we all understand and have felt: love. Love is the power that in many movies and television shows that conquers all no matter what. If your faith doesn't agree with love being the center of the faith, then dig deeper into the faith than just what you are thought a the religious building. The best way to find out what you truly believe is to question things. Act like a 5 year-old who questions everything they see, hear, smell, and touch.

5)I will have to act different.
This is a huge stereotype. "Oh, I'm gay now, so I have to act more gay." This is dumb, but people really believe this to be true because once you are out of the closet then "the gays act more gay." I do believe the "gays" act more "gay" because you have more liberty to act how you truly want to act. This makes this concept partially true. You don't act more gay, you act more like how you truly want to act. I'm not saying you are more gay than normal, I'm just saying that you are free to be yourself, for example holding your boyfriends hand.

In conclusion, coming out has many worries but the benefit big, but I will get to this later on. The key points of the benefits include being yourself, feeling free, expressing yourself, self searching, and just giving yourself the liberty to be yourself.